Cocaine Addiction

The very first time i did cocaine I was 15, I couldn’t even remember it giving me a high. I did it with friends i never used to hang around with much, they were very persuasive and seemed exited about it. I wont lie, I was interested in something new and the way these guys were talking about it I felt like I could not lose! That time they told me not to worry about giving them money. I had no idea how much it costed so i suppose i was pleased about that. We all  drove to the dealers house and they gave him £60, in return..the fuck dust! One of my Friends was so out of control, he even opened it up to have some there and then and he squealed with happiness. That made the rest of the gang even more crazy! we got back did the whole lot! talked complete SHIT to each other and got drunk. i was more drunk than anything, and tired. They wanted more so they got more…i went home and im not sure why?!

A few weeks later i had a party at my gf’s. we invited lots of people (whom which had coke with them) and had a good time. Everyone pulled out there white bags nd sniffed my house down…as so did I. Free drugs at a party?! ”Why Not?” i said. That time i felt more high than the first time.

Months pass on and i got a really good job. Someone I knew asked me on the street if i was taking it. i replied, ”now n again”. He gave me a phone number and told me it was strong so i thought wow. So on my next payday i called him up and told him i wanted £20 worth. i got it and it lasted me all night! i played video games, had a few beers and went on a walk. it didnt feel heavy what-so-ever.

Nearly a year goes by, I am buying it every payday but sometimes its more than £20. I call my friends up on a friday and was exited about the weekend…..NOT COS ITS FRIDAY……Because i have money for cocine. There was one night i wont forget. No alcohol was consumed that night, just cocaine. Got the £40 worth and did it all in  hours. I had more money and said this was supposed to be my money for fags for the week? but everything else was paid so Fuck it! lets do it!! i got another £40 and spanked it in an hour. The night was dragging along so harshly, I felt like I was in a cage and I couldn’t move and the one thing i had in my head was more more MORE!! we could not gat anymore and went home thinking of alternatives of getting it. We failed, but we knew this wasn’t the end of the story….

3 years have passed and i have been off and on with cocaine. most months i say i was going to quit for good and i always had that scratch in the back of my mind when i got money. my gf just told me she was pregnant. No words could of described how i was feeling. I was Mad, Happy, Aggressive, Upset, Shocked and paranoid of my future. Cocaine was half of my life at this point and EVEN then…that very moment i said to myself in my head how was i going to afford coke and a baby? I am an arse-hole. I got to a point where none of my old friends wanted to hang around with me nor my family. After a few days, we decided to keep the baby and try to change our lives…..

My little Girl was born in Febuary and she is the greatest thing that has happened to me. I stopped taking coke for a while. Not because i had to…but because i didnt think of it. It was that simple….something greater came into my life and i forgot all about it.

My 20th birthday was a day i would not lke to remember but cut a long story short i got a gram cos i was drunk..then another one…then another. until i called up my dealer and said its my birthday and could he do me another gram until i get paid. He didnt mind…but that was a question i will live to regret.

4 years pass and i am in the worst state of my life! surprisingly i am still working and have a secure job with them. i still take coke because i think it is all of what i know. i dont drink i dont smoke weed all i do is cocaine…and lots. The same dealer from before will still let me run up a coke bill until i get paid. The worst i ever did was £500 in a month all on tick. I am a wild dog who needs a leash. I am not ashamed for asking directions, just ashamed of who i am.

Every cocaine user has an upsetting story but i believe we can delete them pages in our book of life and re-write the future ones. I know i can stop. I just dont know how….

It’s funny how when you are young-nothing seems dangerous. I, like most other young people, thought myself invincible. While at a party after the bars closed, I was introduced to coke by some “friends”. That sudden rush that hit shortly after snorting it is a sensation I will never forget. Never before had I felt so euphoric and sexually stimulated. I only had to try it once to realize that I loved this stuff! Not only did I feel sexier and euphoric, but I had energy galore. I got stuff done and loved doing it! Of course, I loved using cocaine after that, but that very first high was unbeatable. I kept chasing the ghost, though, and kept doing cocaine.

Every time I would come down from the high, or “crash” it would hit harder. I would sleep sometimes the entire day and even if I didn’t I was not good company. I would get splitting headaches and just feel miserable. All I could think of was snorting more of that drug and feeling good again. When I wasn’t on the coke, it was almost impossible to get motivated to do anything. The energy was just another crutch I used for using drugs. My cocaine addiction story is like so many others. I know because I watched my friends go through it too.

Mine turns out happier than most other stories, however. I lost one friend to cocaine and three others ended up in prison as a result of using (and needing) cocaine. Another friend ended up in an abusive relationship with someone who willingly supplied her with coke, but beat her regularly. I’m here to tell you that there is no such thing as a happy ending to cocaine addiction stories. They all end badly. At the very least, there are years wasted, and at the worse, lives are lost.

I’m thankful that my addiction is a thing of the past. I no longer rely on drugs to get me through the day. I remember the sensations well but I now can be happy and feel sensual without the use of any drug.

The only good part to a cocaine addiction story is the part where the addict stops the drug.

Whether it has been weeks, months or years since you first tried cocaine, it is time to make the decision to stop letting cocaine run your life and if need be, to seek treatment. That is what I did and I will never regret the decision to stop.