Comments for Cocaine Addiction http://cocaineaddiction.me Tell your own story about cocaine addiction! Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:34:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Comment on My Cocaine Addiction Story by jennifer http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/my-cocaine-addiction-story/comment-page-1/#comment-15509 jennifer Thu, 19 Jan 2012 05:34:22 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=142#comment-15509 Amanda, I'm sorry I wasn't clear. Of course if you need I would love to help. I certainly don't judge, due to I'm still working hard everyday to remind myself, I've never met an addict that wants to be one. I feel I saw hell on a hot day and. Decided that was no way to live my life. I have a long way to go, but I don't and haven't used in a long time. The rest is easy. The anxiety and insomnia stinks, but, now when I'm up all night, I'm not tweeking and I'm proud of myself every morning. Thats just what works for me. When I have flashback memories, ill think of how much I miss my old friend and how come it wasn't that easy for him. But I'm glad I am where I am right now. I'm actually happy today. I never thought I smile again, I'm glad I did the work. Its was hard but alot easier than using. I admit I hurt by my losses and shame, but I learn ways to not fix what's gone but learn n move on. Cut ties, losses and start over. Amanda, I’m sorry I wasn’t clear. Of course if you need I would love to help. I certainly don’t judge, due to I’m still working hard everyday to remind myself, I’ve never met an addict that wants to be one. I feel I saw hell on a hot day and. Decided that was no way to live my life. I have a long way to go, but I don’t and haven’t used in a long time. The rest is easy. The anxiety and insomnia stinks, but, now when I’m up all night, I’m not tweeking and I’m proud of myself every morning. Thats just what works for me. When I have flashback memories, ill think of how much I miss my old friend and how come it wasn’t that easy for him. But I’m glad I am where I am right now. I’m actually happy today. I never thought I smile again, I’m glad I did the work. Its was hard but alot easier than using. I admit I hurt by my losses and shame, but I learn ways to not fix what’s gone but learn n move on. Cut ties, losses and start over.

]]> Comment on My Cocaine Addiction Story by jennifer http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/my-cocaine-addiction-story/comment-page-1/#comment-15508 jennifer Thu, 19 Jan 2012 04:52:49 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=142#comment-15508 Amanda, I'm not sure who you asked to talk to, myself or Reid. I've had several addiction battles and coke being one. But I had never seen someone so hell bent on distruction. I hope you make your mind up soon. And Reid, you'd be lying to say you love the crash. I like coke too. But I love myself and my family more. If you must use, at least always tell somebody that cares what your doing. And be safe. Peace. Amanda, I’m not sure who you asked to talk to, myself or Reid. I’ve had several addiction battles and coke being one. But I had never seen someone so hell bent on distruction. I hope you make your mind up soon. And Reid, you’d be lying to say you love the crash. I like coke too. But I love myself and my family more. If you must use, at least always tell somebody that cares what your doing. And be safe. Peace.

]]> Comment on Cocaine User by Jes http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/cocaine-user/comment-page-1/#comment-15098 Jes Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:38:17 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=362#comment-15098 I think you have hope.. but you need to straighten up. Get help. Get over your addiction and fight to get your wife and kids back. You'll realize once you aren't drugged up anymore that they are way more important. I think you have hope.. but you need to straighten up. Get help. Get over your addiction and fight to get your wife and kids back. You’ll realize once you aren’t drugged up anymore that they are way more important.

]]> Comment on It’s a fucked up life i am living by Dan http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/its-a-fucked-up-life-i-am-living/comment-page-1/#comment-14811 Dan Fri, 23 Dec 2011 20:03:43 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=524#comment-14811 Damn. Im not alone after all... I got coke right now, am about to ingest it. It makes you so cold. I have a semi-decent job, a girlfriend who adores the ground I walk on, now that for me is enough to go far in life. Regular money and a loyal companion. All I need... The only fucking thing stopping me is cocaine. I also have a drinking problem. I am an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. The problem is that I am a very high functioning addict, im not bragging or shit, I am... I have respect from people everywhere I turn. But not a single soul but my own knows how I can blow 200 squids in two nights (week nights) while also staying up all night and going to work. As I type this, since 00:30 today I have been high as a motherfucker. I stayed up all thursday night, waiting to be paid, so I could blow my money on this stuff (very good shit, too damn good really, thats the prob, you can smell this shit through the wrap, hella strong). What I am trying to say is that I havnt slept in about 38 hours and have been sniffin fat lines every ten minutes, the funny thing is that I have taken so much that now I feel like shit, scared, confused, regretful, but 30 mins ago I blew my last 45 quid on a gram and have nearly sniffed half of it. Im confused as hell. Im 23 by the way and have, in the last five years, heavily abused every drug under the sun except for heroin. I feel like it is too late for me. My problem maybe is that I dont fear pain and death, infact I beckon it to me. Man im so far gone, everytime I consider changing I just laugh at myself for being so naive. Oh well. Earth aint that great anyway, oblivion would suit me fine. I cannot cry, it is impossible, but I so want to. Laterzzz. Wish me luck ill need that shit Damn. Im not alone after all… I got coke right now, am about to ingest it. It makes you so cold. I have a semi-decent job, a girlfriend who adores the ground I walk on, now that for me is enough to go far in life. Regular money and a loyal companion. All I need… The only fucking thing stopping me is cocaine. I also have a drinking problem. I am an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. The problem is that I am a very high functioning addict, im not bragging or shit, I am… I have respect from people everywhere I turn. But not a single soul but my own knows how I can blow 200 squids in two nights (week nights) while also staying up all night and going to work. As I type this, since 00:30 today I have been high as a motherfucker. I stayed up all thursday night, waiting to be paid, so I could blow my money on this stuff (very good shit, too damn good really, thats the prob, you can smell this shit through the wrap, hella strong). What I am trying to say is that I havnt slept in about 38 hours and have been sniffin fat lines every ten minutes, the funny thing is that I have taken so much that now I feel like shit, scared, confused, regretful, but 30 mins ago I blew my last 45 quid on a gram and have nearly sniffed half of it. Im confused as hell. Im 23 by the way and have, in the last five years, heavily abused every drug under the sun except for heroin. I feel like it is too late for me. My problem maybe is that I dont fear pain and death, infact I beckon it to me. Man im so far gone, everytime I consider changing I just laugh at myself for being so naive. Oh well. Earth aint that great anyway, oblivion would suit me fine. I cannot cry, it is impossible, but I so want to. Laterzzz. Wish me luck ill need that shit

]]> Comment on Cocaine Addiction and Relapse by Coke fighter http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/cocaine-addiction-and-relapse/comment-page-1/#comment-14439 Coke fighter Sat, 10 Dec 2011 07:55:06 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=544#comment-14439 What you describe is exactlu what I'm going through, and thanks for being so clear and technical about the various dangers of relapse. I also thought I could have it "once in a while". Then I found a way to get it very easily, anytime I wanted it. No more need to look for someone. Just a call, a 5 min walk, a short exchange of words and currency-supply and off I went to blow what I always imagined would be the only I'd take that night, just to keep me going on late work tasks. But It never was one only. I always went through the whole thing. Raving mad through the house, listening to techno music instead of working, manically chain-smoking, one sip of wine, one line, one cigarette... The endless spiral... After 12 hours, my nose bleeding,my face half paralized, I would still blow one if I hadn't finished it all already. Then, the painkillers, the handful of benzo to drift asleep, the 12 hours coma.... The 2 weeks to recover, my nose constantly blocked, people always wondering why I had a cold... 2 weeks to forget what it felt like to feel terrible after, to forget the guilt and feel the need again to make that call... Ohhh, I have a late night project to finish, this will keep me going.... Then same madness all over again. 3 weeks ago, I cut my veins during a come-down. It was a way for me to shout HELP. I went to hospital, emergency, psychiatry.... I am now resting thousands of miles away from temptation... Everyody knows about it. My friends, my family, I have counsellors seeing me twice a week, a psychiatrist every week. I am treated for a bipolarity disorder. The addiction gave me mood swings and severe bursts of anger... I was out of control. Now, the scar on my arm is here to remind me how far it can go, each time I'll have a craving that will encompass the memory of the down. I'll look at it and think: no, never ever. When the scar will heal I'll put a tattoo over it: What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. Or so I hope. What you describe is exactlu what I’m going through, and thanks for being so clear and technical about the various dangers of relapse. I also thought I could have it “once in a while”. Then I found a way to get it very easily, anytime I wanted it. No more need to look for someone. Just a call, a 5 min walk, a short exchange of words and currency-supply and off I went to blow what I always imagined would be the only I’d take that night, just to keep me going on late work tasks. But It never was one only. I always went through the whole thing. Raving mad through the house, listening to techno music instead of working, manically chain-smoking, one sip of wine, one line, one cigarette… The endless spiral… After 12 hours, my nose bleeding,my face half paralized, I would still blow one if I hadn’t finished it all already. Then, the painkillers, the handful of benzo to drift asleep, the 12 hours coma…. The 2 weeks to recover, my nose constantly blocked, people always wondering why I had a cold… 2 weeks to forget what it felt like to feel terrible after, to forget the guilt and feel the need again to make that call… Ohhh, I have a late night project to finish, this will keep me going…. Then same madness all over again. 3 weeks ago, I cut my veins during a come-down. It was a way for me to shout HELP. I went to hospital, emergency, psychiatry…. I am now resting thousands of miles away from temptation… Everyody knows about it. My friends, my family, I have counsellors seeing me twice a week, a psychiatrist every week. I am treated for a bipolarity disorder. The addiction gave me mood swings and severe bursts of anger… I was out of control. Now, the scar on my arm is here to remind me how far it can go, each time I’ll have a craving that will encompass the memory of the down. I’ll look at it and think: no, never ever. When the scar will heal I’ll put a tattoo over it: What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger. Or so I hope.

]]> Comment on It’s a fucked up life i am living by Syneley http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/its-a-fucked-up-life-i-am-living/comment-page-1/#comment-13078 Syneley Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:25:00 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=524#comment-13078 I am very sorry to hear that you feel that way. I bet it is desperate to loose every one around you; however, you still alive. Just think that as long as you still around, there is hope. Please, try not to put yourself in the position that nobody will love you if you want to change, perhaps they will love you even more. Family is always to support and I know that someone would support you to get out of that addiction. Try to be that girl you used to be, have a family of your own, but speciallly stay away from cocaine. You should feel proud of writing and letting others know your feelings. Hopefully, you could realize how much effort you had put on this and also you have made a change ; even without knowing that you did. God will light the way to your freedom (free of cocaine). I am very sorry to hear that you feel that way. I bet it is desperate to loose every one around you; however, you still alive. Just think that as long as you still around, there is hope. Please, try not to put yourself in the position that nobody will love you if you want to change, perhaps they will love you even more. Family is always to support and I know that someone would support you to get out of that addiction. Try to be that girl you used to be, have a family of your own, but speciallly stay away from cocaine. You should feel proud of writing and letting others know your feelings. Hopefully, you could realize how much effort you had put on this and also you have made a change ; even without knowing that you did. God will light the way to your freedom (free of cocaine).

]]> Comment on Hallucinations by louis http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/hallucinations/comment-page-1/#comment-13062 louis Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:33:27 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=386#comment-13062 It's a pity most of us have to hit rock bottom before we realise where the true value in our lives lie. Family and solid relationships are the only things which matter really. It’s a pity most of us have to hit rock bottom before we realise where the true value in our lives lie. Family and solid relationships are the only things which matter really.

]]> Comment on Perfectly damaged by Oodigower http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/perfectly-damaged/comment-page-1/#comment-12975 Oodigower Sat, 22 Oct 2011 22:13:29 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=482#comment-12975 Hi, What can I say? I really do feel and understand everthing you've written and are feeling. I won't preach as I am not the person for that - my life and social standing has suddenly plummeted... (by the way once you start lying like that you will do it more and more - Why? because you can - and it means you can get and take more gear!!! In time everthing will be a lie and part of you will actually believe what you've said. You can only keep up the appearance of being in control focused etc for so long... the thing is I have just realised that everyone else had seen the mask slip way before I did.. I wish you well - Good luck x Hi,
What can I say?
I really do feel and understand everthing you’ve written and are feeling.
I won’t preach as I am not the person for that – my life and social standing has suddenly plummeted… (by the way once you start lying like that you will do it more and more – Why? because you can – and it means you can get and take more gear!!!
In time everthing will be a lie and part of you will actually believe what you’ve said.

You can only keep up the appearance of being in control focused etc for so long… the thing is I have just realised that everyone else had seen the mask slip way before I did..

I wish you well – Good luck x

]]> Comment on It’s a fucked up life i am living by Oodigower http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/its-a-fucked-up-life-i-am-living/comment-page-1/#comment-12974 Oodigower Sat, 22 Oct 2011 21:39:02 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=524#comment-12974 Wow... it's amazing how it takes all on the same journey... me i am f*cked!!! Have a nice job and money (perceived) but really I have no money isolated friends and family and the worst of it I have two beautiful boy's nearly 3 and 1 and great girlfriend.... I thought when we got together all would be well, I would give up the hacker and enjoy a "normal life" Guess what, I have failed! I am about to lose everything.... I have no control over my addiction its not the amount I do....it's the unreliability and bullshit Jekyl and Hyde. I am sorry I have fucked my GF's life up - I only ever wanted to be the best Dad and Partner and for 75% of the time I am but the rest is not worth writing about..... Work and general people contact is getting harder the veneer of being cool, polished, edgy and the go to man is now wearing thin - I genuinely think after 17years of doing this.... it is about to end. The worrying thing is - it won't end happily ever after I wish you all the best for the future x Wow… it’s amazing how it takes all on the same journey… me i am f*cked!!!
Have a nice job and money (perceived) but really I have no money isolated friends and family

and the worst of it I have two beautiful boy’s nearly 3 and 1 and great girlfriend…. I thought when we got together all would be well, I would give up the hacker and enjoy a “normal life”

Guess what, I have failed! I am about to lose everything…. I have no control over my addiction its not the amount I do….it’s the unreliability and bullshit Jekyl and Hyde.

I am sorry I have fucked my GF’s life up – I only ever wanted to be the best Dad and Partner and for 75% of the time I am but the rest is not worth writing about…..

Work and general people contact is getting harder the veneer of being cool, polished, edgy and the go to man is now wearing thin – I genuinely think after 17years of doing this…. it is about to end.

The worrying thing is – it won’t end happily ever after

I wish you all the best for the future x

]]> Comment on Really? How far does one go? by steadytone http://cocaineaddiction.me/cocaine-addiction-stories/really-how-far-does-one-go/comment-page-1/#comment-12920 steadytone Thu, 20 Oct 2011 04:57:28 +0000 http://cocaineaddiction.me/?p=403#comment-12920 you can't stop it as long as the borders remain open to the united states. I hate to say this but hurt the dealer. you can’t stop it as long as the borders remain open to the united states. I hate to say this but hurt the dealer.

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