Calamity Jane
Jane was born to a quiet family, a sister and a brother, and from an early age her parents called her Calamity Jane. Things happened around Jane, that try as she might to behave herself – still inevitably happened. She grew up shy and awkward, as one might expect, in someone who was considered by her parents to be a walking disaster area.
Take for instance the farm stay holiday, when Jane swung out on a rope, as did her brother and sister – but the rope frayed out, on Jane’s second turn, dumping her into an open cess pit. As her mother scrubbed her down she could not resist to say – what you get up to is quite beyond me – you are a real Calamity Jane.
And it was true – if a fly fell into someone’s soup, if there was a caterpillar in a tossed salad – you didn’t need to ask – it would always be Jane’s.
Jane learned to accept her failings, took a fatalistic approach. If she survived a day without calamity, parental reproach – she was happy enough.
Came the time for leaving school, Jane had average grades and needed to find employment. Something safe, her parents said, with Jane’s reputation for calamity. She did a course in data entry and got a steady job.
Her parents were suddenly into investment. Having money to spare after paying off their home mortgage, a financial adviser revealed to them the meaning and power of “equity loans”.
They wanted the investment potential, but were mistrusting of tenants who might trash the place, or run up an excess water bill that they might have to pay.
So they turned to Jane and said – if she wanted a place of her own, they would buy the property. She could pay them rent, live there – and have a life of her own.
Jane said ok, she would do that, and it was agreed. Her parents said they would buy the furnishings, after all, why not – tax deductible, according to the financial adviser.
In the vast apartment block, Jane soon met up with people from all walks of life. Most fascinating of all was Henri, known to be into drugs, according to tenants who appeared to be somewhat concerned for her welfare.
Henri was no chancer – made the right moves. Got out of rent, and into Jane’s flat in less than a week. Cocaine user, and part time dealer, Jane fell under Henri’s spell.
Cocaine and Henri, Henri – cocaine. And then it became – cocaine, cocaine, cocaine.
Jane stopped going to work. The bank stopped a rental debit against Jane’s savings account.
No answer to phone calls. Jane’s enraged parents decided to go round and visit their daughter – Calamity Jane. Hammered on the front door.
Jane got up wearily, answered the door. Offering no resistance, Jane’s parents took her home.
They took in tenants, bore the risk, to cover their position on the apartment. Told Jane that she was a hopeless case, a calamity, never to be trusted.
And Jane decided, they were right, she was a hopeless case – stole what she could from the family home to keep on buying cocaine.
Jane survived until one day she took some notes from a pile that her father had left on the kitchen table – thinking he might not notice. Turned out it was black money intended to cover apartment repairs. The contractor was not impressed, thought he was being ripped off..
Jane’s father sorted the problem out and then he turned on Jane, saying – get out of my house – right now. I don’t want to see your face, ever again.
Jane felt wronged, felt overwhelmed. Decided to stand up for her rights.
You and Mom have picked on me, every day of my life, made me the reason for your problems – the scapegoat for everything that’s ever been not perfect in your lives. It’s not my fault I fell out of the tree, it was the rope that broke – always you have laughed at me, told your friends about that.
Jane’s father was taken aback, surprised – what are you talking about – what tree, what rope – I don’t understand.
Years ago, I fell into a cesspool – because a tree swing broke – you and Mom always blamed me for that – said I was a Calamity Jane.
Jane’s Dad remembered it then, could have gone either way, supported Jane in her misery, or told her to get over it. Jane’s Dad said yes, I remember it now – your mother was so upset. You really should not have played on the tree swing – being so un-athletic, not like your brother or sister.
Jane took him at his word, why not, she had always been a failure – hitting up on coke had been the only happiness she had known.
Jane went back to her room, took anything of value. Got money, found a dealer, used cocaine and overdosed.
Saved by paramedics, taken to hospital – Jane vaguely saw her parents standing by the bed – but she heard, and responded to the words they said.
We need you Jane, we love you. We want you to come home – we need to talk – and get things sorted out.
